Saturday, October 06, 2007


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People can never change II

Have you ever seen a shy person change into a rude and vulgar one? Of course, if you are constantly bullying or harassing him, his anger might overcome his shyness and might act upon it. But that is temporary. That is not a change. He will always have that shyness. I have seen many impolite people but never once have I come across anyone changing from impoliteness to bashfulness.

I know this person who is the dad of one of my friends. He has this anger that he tries very hard to control. He tries to take things calm and face problems as a civilized and deal with everything reasonably. He is aware of his anger and his wife and children know that he is trying his best to control it. It has been like that as long as the children can remember. But despite all his trying, there were many occasions that he had snapped at his children and wife over simple things.

If you try hard, you can control your emotions to a degree, but you cannot change it.

There are “funny persons”, “rude persons”, “kind persons”, “serious persons”, etc. Have you ever seen any of this kind of a person change from kind to rude or serious to funny? You might see a funny person in a serious mood. But that, again, is temporary. He will always have that funniness in him.

So, if people can change rudeness will also be changed to shyness. Do you really believe that is possible?

Monday, October 01, 2007

People can never change.

Of course they do change! Everyone changes, physically and mentally. But do you really believe that people can change their personality? I don’t think so…

I know most of you guys won’t agree with me on this one…one will say “my girlfriend was so kind and loving and later she had changed somehow”…others will say “he was a ‘partey’ before but now he is a genuine religious being”…or ‘my husband/wife has changed and left me with our kids. He/she doesn’t love us anymore’…blah…blah…blah.

Let’s go a little deep into this. How many of you have a bro, who abuses you verbally and emotionally, including trivial nit-picking criticism? Or a sis, who manipulates you or other members of the family, through her emotions and beliefs, attitudes and perceptions? Or a mom, who is a constant fault-finder who refuses to value, and acknowledge you? Or a dad, who isolates you, controls over your choice of friends and blames you for all the terrible things that happen in the family? This may not be true for all. You may be a very lucky person whom everyone treats as a prince/princess. In that case think about your own personality. (I will talk about your personality later. First let’s talk about your family members).

In any of the cases I mentioned above, I am sure the victim must have tried in every possible way to make things right and earn the love of his/her parents/siblings, hoping them to change their attitudes towards him/her. But when you are almost sure that you have succeeded, they will do something awful that makes all your hopes vanish into thin air. That will go on forever, even when they are ill and helpless, even when they are on their way to see the other side, as long as you live with them (sometimes even if you are not). Do you know why? Because, that is, their personality. They simply cannot change it. Some people, if they realize their fault, might try to change it. But no matter how hard they try, at the end they will still be the same. The question is…how many of you can say for certain that your parents/siblings have changed? Answer it yourself.

Enough about family members! Let’s talk about people around you. I’m going to share one of my own experiences.

There is this close friend of mine. He was a very outgoing, ‘fun to hang around’ type of guy. He always had 2-3 girls under his wing (if you know what I mean). Our ‘gang’ used to have so much fun. And then he became an extremely religious person. Growing of the beard and all the other changes came to him overnight. He started lecturing us regarding all kinds of religious stuff. Gradually he started drifting away from us and our friendship abated slowly.

One day, after sometime, I saw him walking on the walkway of a street with his usual ‘yo yo’ walk. The beard was GONE! He saw me and stopped. I went to where he was standing with this obvious big grin on my face and he smiled back at me and asked ‘what?’

‘What happened to your beard?’ I could not keep myself from asking.

‘You know what happen to tides in the sea?’ was his answer.

…to be continued…